I'm 16 days from the end of the semester and I'm not that enthusiastic. My mind is a mess that I can't even tell how I'm feeling towards this. Then again, I don't want this to just pass me by with a big frown on my face. And I'm glad that I still have a reason to smile. I remember my first day in U.P.. How it felt when I was asked to commute from pampanga to my then residence somewhere in U.P. Village on a Sunday afternoon(which was my first commute to manila alone). How my first meal was a hot dog sandwich from ministop and a bottle of water. How I waited for my first class which was ES1 with a classmate who was busy reading the bible. How excited I was to go home that tuesday since I had no class till wednesday afternoon. How I waited for my math class that wednesday since I misread the schedule on my form.(note that during those times, wednesday was the freeday) How I had my first cut where I played DotA at a nearby computer shop instead of attending my ever
My dreams have been missing you and the last time you visited was a bad memory left on my mind. Still, I want to meet you there, my dream girl. Sandman be my wish maker..... oOo It's a realization I don't want to make sense out of. I've been in college for 6 years and it seems the direction I'm heading to is as clear as murky water. Yes it's true I want to be that engineer. But it seems, as time passes by that I'm not clearly affiliated to any institution, the passion I had for that is slowly fading. And I'm getting back to that time when I was in that catholic institution trying to pretend I want to be something that I really didn't. I'm not saying I really don't want to be an engineer. I'd want to be one but at this moment, I'm feeling a bit confused; partly because I'm not confident that I'd be accepted to that, my fourth university, and partly because I'm not confident that I can meet expectations. I really haven't met
6 days ago, as I was about to bid goodbye to my mom before going to school, she whispered something to me. Well, a few minutes before that, she was ranting about how I got mixed up in the situation I'm in. I just ignored her. Then, as I was about to leave, she told me that she wanted to punch me. A few weeks prior to that, I was asking for permission from my dad to attend an org event at a mall in clark when I was bugged a few questions regarding the event. Then these lines came up: "Bakit ka pa pupunta diyan? Kalimutan mo na yan..." About 5 or 6 hours ago, we passed by this school along the road. A tarpaulin hung loosely on its fence congratulating some students for winning on a certain competition. My sister tried to read what was written but wasn't able to read what the event was. I told my sister what it was all about. Then my father spoke "next year wala ka nang alam tungkol diyan" At dinner last night, my younger brother was showing his graduation pic
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