Friday, July 30, 2010

Dics Mahn

This happened not long ago. It was the third month of the school year, a family day, in my first year as a college student in MGCS. It was August of the year 2005.

Back then we lived in a 2-level dormitory where seniors reside in separate rooms on the third floor while juniors had to stay on shared rooms on the second. I was privileged to already be a senior since I studied in the same institution during High School; hence I had my own room! Back at home, I shared my room with my younger brother and there’s nothing much I could do to make it homely the way I would so there in the dormitory, I did all I could to personalize my room. I had throw pillows, a bean bag, some cartolina, curtains, shelves, some old pictures, and some cloth running on the wall. The walls were low, and didn’t close to the high ceiling and they were made with light materials so it was easy do decorate them. Every week, I changed the setting of my room. I was free to do so! I once tied my blanket over my bed making a sort of canopy one would usually see on palace four post beds! But, even though the settings change, there was one detail that I never really moved. It was my first, and only discman which I hung in one spot where, wherever I placed all my stuff in the room, nothing would affect access to it. Sure, the Discman was portable, but I tried to make it unportable, making it a part of my room, like a home theatre set or what was then the famous component. Two trusty speakers were set with it. Every day, whenever it was legal, I would play into full blast speakers a CD I had had burned by a Hi-School friend, and I’d let all the serenity of the dorm melt away. No MP3, MP4, or other player could match it, since apple was yet to come with a cheap version of the iPod and since I’ve yet to discover how an MP3 works. It was my favourite thing in the world! But on that day, it happened.

Since there was an activity, a family day for that matter, we had mass at the chapel and meals in the auditorium with my family. It was a busy day. People I’ve known from high school visited and I’m all hyped, excited to meet all of them. Only two in our batch pursued education in the seminary and almost all my classmates was either studying in Angeles or in Manila. So, on that day when they all visited, I preoccupied myself with having even just some time with them, and of course with my family. But, when the day was about to close and I was preparing my clothes for laundry, I missed seeing one thing. My discman wasn’t there! I tried to look for it in all my stuff but it was nowhere to be found! Then I noticed something weird. There were some hand and shoe prints on the cloths I pinned on the wall. My room was breached! Somebody climbed the wall, went in and took the player, my home theatre set!

At first, I didn’t know what to do. I tried to search for anyone suspicious in the corridors. The halls were full of people so I felt it would be hopeless to search for it among the people and make a scandal. I told my parents about the incident but their reaction wasn’t most reassuring. They tried to sympathize with me without guaranteeing a replacement. I hoped they’d replace it but they didn’t. I reported the incident to our director though at that point, I was already ready to let the issue pass away. I felt that it didn’t matter that it was stolen.

The next day, there were no classes as it was set as a rest day lieu of the busy day that it followed. We were called to the study hall at the second floor. There were cops. It seems the directors didn’t take yesterday’s incident lightly. The police were trying to pull out the culprit saying that they’d interview us one by one if the thief didn’t give in and each would have a police blotter and that it would be a shame. At that moment, I couldn’t care anymore. It didn’t matter if they found the thief though it would be trivial. If ever I found out who the thief is, maybe I’d dig my fist on his face. Or maybe I’d push him down from the roof top. But it didn’t matter if I did find out. I can’t be bothered anymore.

I just realized that in life, the more one has, the more one may lose; that, along the way, this is just one of those things I’d lose or would be taken away from me. Not that I have so much, or not that I’m careless of my things. It’s just that losing things is inevitable and I’ve come to accept that. These are all just material things and sooner or later, they’d fade away or get lost. And by the time that happens, something new and better is to come. Still, I’m not in a rush for that. So, to all that hath taken from me, and are yet to, God bless!

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Walk

Awhile ago, I had one of my most emotion-inducing moments in college. Not that I always have those moments. It’s just that, awhile ago, I never expected to have a me-time. I never have these moments save for love-life related issues. And so it goes.
I went back to the dorm early since I figured I’d have nothing much to do at the Agu-tambayan and I felt like resting or doing some computer stuff. As is to be planned, after the people are done doing non-lakwatsa stuff, I’d invite them to dinner and to hang out someplace. Seemingly, plans don’t really work out as I please.
At past 8pm, I started inviting people to dinner through SMS. I was getting pretty hungry since the last meal I had was approximately 10 hours ago, and it wasn’t really what I call a fulfilling meal. 10 minutes passed yet I still haven’t received a single reply from the people I contacted. I signed a late permit at the dorm desk as I thought I’d be having a long night. Since no one yet replied, I decided to go and have a light snack at the nearest convenience store, which was about a couple hundred meters away from the dorm. The walk seemed long and my mind was wandering to all sorts of stuff from academics to where people could possibly be at the moment. Still no reply.
Arriving at the convenience store, I felt a bit at a lost since I forgot what I wanted to do and I was getting impatient with my blank cell phone. I walked to and fro, deciding what to do next. I thought, maybe people were still busy so I decided to while away time by walking to Philcoa, which was probably more than a kilometer away. The walk probably lasted 20mins or so.
During the walk, I had the chance to think deep. Here I am walking alone, with one of my tsinelas giving a hint of a possible disaster, thinking why I am alone, why I am doing what I am, why I am where I am. A part of me started mocking my situation making me recall how I made fun of a friend who probably had a similar experience a few days ago. Then, the child in me started chanting “iiyak na yan!” in my head. Then I felt a weird sensation. Maybe this would be the last walk in this place I’ll ever have as a U.P. student. I haven’t been working/doing well on my studies since I’m still in bakasyon mode, and it sucks.
Arriving at Philcoa, I received my first interesting reply, followed by some. It seemed people have either had dinner, or are still doing something. I didn’t want to eat alone so I tried to wait. I stood in front of Jollibee, looking at the long and vast Commonwealth avenue trying to think about stuff. Almost a thousand cars have passed. It was an hour or so later before a friend came. My good dorm mate joined me in having a take-out meal! In the end, I had dinner alone in my room. Oh well.