Blueprints on Worksheets

This welcomed my Christmas Season. Last Thursday, as was required in one of my subjects, we had a fieldwork somewhere in Tarlac. We were supposed to look for a rough, unpaved road, and survey it. We chose this road in the middle of rice fields at Tarlac since it was close enough to what the subject required. Anyway, though last week was a rain riddled week, Thursday had an energetic sun beaming brightly; so for our survey, we had to work under its heat, and over the muddy road. We didn't last long under the heat and when noon approached, we searched for a shade where we can rest and have lunch. We passed by this small  sari-sari store  which had concrete benches and a nice shade. The store stood in front of a rice field and a small, unfinished house. One of my classmates politely asked the tindero if we could stay in front of the store to eat. The guy invitingly directed us to a nipa hut behind the store and said we could use that since it had a table, which was actually a ...

Seeing you smile makes up for the time that I don't get to see you.

> Ma'am, magpapasa lang po ng appeal.  - Hah, bat ngayon lang? Di na kami tumatanggap ng appeal e. Sabi ni Doc. P wala na daw tatanggaping appeal. > Ganun po ba? Di na po ba talaga pwede? - Nasakanya na lahat  e, di na raw siya tatanggap. Teka, nandyan siya, hintayin mo, sakanya ka makiusap. + What do you need? > Sir, I'll just pass my letter of Appeal. I've been dism... + Sorry, I can't help you there. You had enough time to pass that appeal. You don't even know how to sign your name! > Sir, please give me one more chance. I waited for the line at the admin office that's why I wasn't able to pass it earlier. + OK, I'll give you a chance to defend your case. .... + Hurry up, I don't have all time! > I'm sorry sir, here's my situation. I was dismissed....blah blah. + You're lucky to have gone this far. Your grades are barely satisfactory. Swerte ka ngayon ka palang nadidismiss. Can you tell me why you failed these? > Sir...

I stood frozen after looking left and right and seeing who I was with on stage. I stared at the people down and realized what was happening. It was supposedly a photo opp for the resident members of an organization I'm now an alumnus of and there I was feeling like a resident again rushing to get a picture after everyone else had. Then again, the cameras started to flash so I just posed and dealt with the moment quickly. I nonchalantly went down the stage and started being defensive. "I worked for this, I deserve one picture. Hahahaha" It bothers me now why or how, back then, I suddenly felt torn. Was it OK to be too involved or should I have been a bit detached? Maybe I'm just over-thinking.

Every time you do that, you make me miss you more and more...

As people I know...err... know, I've been getting good results with my studies lately. Well, honestly, this is not as fulfilling as it would have been years or months ago. Still, it feels good to know I'm not a total academe failure. My first weeks at my new(4Th) school were a breeze since I was still adjusting to the new environment and I was lax. But I was too lax that I was getting average results on my quizzes. Then the wake up call came and the results thereafter were unexpected. Currently, I'm achieving grades my fresh-grad-from-high-school self would only dream of. While listening to my boring instructor; looking outside the classroom window; wondering what I would do after class. I have my failed 5-year-attempt-for-a-college-degree to thank for, and practically, all the people I met during those years. Right now, I'm looking at a piece of paper with the words "test" "I.Q." and something blurred and torn with the letters "S" and ...

Yesterday, our parents celebrated their 25th Wedding Anniversary. As a pre-celebration, we decided to have dinner the previous Sunday at one of the most famous restaurants in Angeles. C' Italian Dining is an Italian restaurant situated along Clark's perimeter road somewhere in between the red district and Korea town. Prices of the food were a bit steep for a normal dinner but for special occasions, it was fine spending a bit more. And every centavo was well worth it. For starters, we had a Kristina Panizza. This is their best seller and their specialty so we had it before the appetizer. Hungry that we were, it really didn't matter which came first      So, basically, it is a thin crust rectangular pizza without the tomato sauce. It's crispy on the edge and a bit soft in the middle and comes comes with arugula leaves. Before eating it, take a slice, put some leaves on and roll it like this . Next was risotto.  It's similar to lugaw only, it has a thicker consi...

And when the night is set to end  close your eyes and you will see  that bright spot glowing in the darkness still  as you are rushing into a bright dawn  hoping tomorrow would come out  with something different  chasing you from this monotonous darkness and still  it will ever grow bright  like it were tonight

In a few days I'd be a month old at my new school and so far, I'm pissed, though not only at some of my classmates but also at myself. This Monday, we had our first quiz in Geometry. All was expected to go well because the quiz was simply about plotting points and computing for coordinates. Then again, underestimating aside, 5 minutes before the time and I still haven't finished answering, or solving. Actually, I had answers, but no solution to prove one of them. Just one! And my day can't get any better seeing my classmates cheating even after being told by the instructor not to. One even took pictures of his seatmate's paper. A while ago, the results from last week's quiz in our technical writing class were released. Guess what, I got a disappointing 31 out of 40! Apparently, I misheard one of the instructions and instead of a 12, I got a 5. It's really frustrating since I'v been trying, if not struggling, to be proficient in English even just in wri...

For the lack of a better thing to say, just shut it, please! It's just been a few days since the start of school and one of my classmate has started pissing me off already. Why do people have the need to affirm every single statement the teacher makes? Why? Why?! And why do people try to anticipate and mouth whatever the teacher says? It's irritating! Stop kissing ass for god's sake! I'm here to listen and learn from the lecture, not from your "yes ma'am, I agree, yes ma'am" We're not preschoolers anymore gademit!

It's the first time in years that I receive a birthday present from a friend. Usually, it would be my relatives who'd hand me out an envelope, a box, or a paper bag of something I could have liked. By all means, I'm flattered. If there was maybe one thing that could make my day, or my week, or my month, or my year, it would be unexpectedly getting something from someone. I'm really not used to people doing me this or that without anything in return or without me asking for it, except from my parents, because for all I know, I haven't been the nicest person to most people. And now, I get this weird high even after a few days and an unfortunate event. I'm very happy! Thanks for the gift! It really made my day feel extra special. :)

How many more Schools do I have to get into before I could say you are the one?

I miss you

I miss her. I want to see her. There are things not meant to happen soon. I'm hopeful. Inconsolable pain is agony. Watching my 6 year old nephew trying to fight his tears, seeing his anguished face over the death of his father shot by still unknown gunmen, I can't stop my tears from forming. My life's a mix up. Just this weekend, I was having a trouble free, fun vacation. Days after, I'm in mourning. What should I feel? I have 2 days from my entrance exam. I still have a lot to prepare. Time is running. I feel awful at the 2 game loss of the Celtics against my much hated team. 4 games to go.

My dreams have been missing you and the last time you visited was a bad memory left on my mind. Still, I want to meet you there, my dream girl. Sandman be my wish maker..... oOo It's a realization I don't want to make sense out of. I've been in college for 6 years and it seems the direction I'm heading to is as clear as murky water. Yes it's true I want to be that engineer. But it seems, as time passes by that I'm not clearly affiliated to any institution, the passion I had for that is slowly fading. And I'm getting back to that time when I was in that catholic institution trying to pretend I want to be something that I really didn't. I'm not saying I really don't want to be an engineer. I'd want to be one but at this moment, I'm feeling a bit confused; partly because I'm not confident that I'd be accepted to that, my fourth university, and partly because I'm not confident that I can meet expectations. I really haven't met...

I guess the right time comes moments before it's over....

Let me reminisce one more time. 5 years ago, I wasn't expecting to be able to transfer to that Diliman Campus. It was March, if I'm not mistaken. I've already applied for an honorable dismissal from my previous university even though I had nowhere to go yet. Getting an honorable dismissal means that you don't have any plans of returning to that university and that you're pulling out all the records that you may have there; therefore, if in case the universities which I applied for won't admit me, I won't be able to re-enroll on my previous school. That made me desperate. I only asked for two copies of my transcript so I could only apply for 2 universities; which I thought was a big mistake. So I only chose 2 campuses(campi?): diliman and los banos. I was feeling lucky that I could easily get admitted to the latter. I actually passed the entrance exam for that campus though I turned it down since, during those days, my mind was as cluttered as a friend/dotama...

Let the 17 hours pass I'll be content

It was the first activity after orientation. You were in red. Those days, you were still crazy about wearing polo. And that day, or night, as it was called the unity night, despite it being a physical activity, you still wore that red, uncomfortable polo. Back then you already had a set of acquaintances, or friends if you may. Excluding your 3-year-dorm-mate-2-months-roommate, you had 4: a guy with round cheeks, a tall guy with glasses, a pudgy girl, and a thin girl with long hair and muscular arms. At that time, you thought twice about attending the event but the two girls asked you to do so. And so you did. The venue was at a roof top of some old building with tiles that reminded you of your dorm, a year back. You entered the long and relatively narrow room as people beamed at you and you searched for those 4 familiar faces. Then you heard someone call out "papa bear!" Back then, maybe as a joke, the 2 girls called you papa bear. They can't call you by your cool name si...

6 days ago, as I was about to bid goodbye to my mom before going to school, she whispered something to me. Well, a few minutes before that, she was ranting about how I got mixed up in the situation I'm in. I just ignored her. Then, as I was about to leave, she told me that she wanted to punch me. A few weeks prior to that, I was asking for permission from my dad to attend an org event at a mall in clark when I was bugged a few questions regarding the event. Then these lines came up: "Bakit ka pa pupunta diyan? Kalimutan mo na yan..." About 5 or 6 hours ago, we passed by this school along the road. A tarpaulin hung loosely on its fence congratulating some students for winning on a certain competition. My sister tried to read what was written but wasn't able to read what the event was. I told my sister what it was all about. Then my father spoke "next year wala ka nang alam tungkol diyan" At dinner last night, my younger brother was showing his graduation pic...

You do something to me, that I can’t explain… (I Miss You, Incubus ) As long as we got time, this aint goodbye… (This Aint Goodbye, Train ) Close our eyes, pretend to fly… (Penny And Me, Hanson) Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there… (Drive, Incubus) Just kind of stuck between my fantasy and what is real… (Because of You, Neyo ) Jealousy turning saints into the sea… (Mr. Brightside, The Killers ) Cause I was so high… (Solo, Iyaz ) I’m standing here until you make me move… (Hanging By A Moment, Lifehouse ) Cause without love I won’t survive… (Love Hurts, Incubus ) You know I need you and there’s no way I am leaving… (Sweet Thing, Keith Urban ) If it takes the rest of my life… (Wait For You, Elliot Yamin ) Here I go, screaming my lungs out and trying to get to you… (Only One, Yellow Card ) A dreamer dreams, (s)he never dies… (Champagne Supernova, Oasis ) I’ll be the one to tuck you in at night… (Follow Me, Uncle Cracker ) I saw the world flashing all around your face… (I Melt With You,...

Drinking. No, I should stop drinking. But wait, I can't. It's just so fun, the things that happen when people are drunk. Then again, it's not always the case. I've been to many binge drinking or anything close to that, and most of them were fun. What takes the fun from it all is when you're the last one standing and you have to take care of at least 2 drunk people. Then again, two drunk people could spell out fun as good as 2 sober comedians. Especially when those two don't usually drink. Oh by the way, I think I should stop you from imagining stuff cause this is a wholesome blog. It all happened four nights ago. It was past 10pm and I didn't feel like going home yet so I invited some friends to drink at this beer bar, or something, somewhere near. Oh the things that happen when I get bored. Anyway, we all ended drinking at some friends' house. At first, I had the impression that people thought I was inviting them to drink because I had to be all mushy,...

The One Who Played Inverse I can't remember when we started getting close. Heck, I can't remember if we really got that close. Back then, I'd see you at the tambayan, greeting everyone with a Japanese bow. And back then, I remember asking you if you had a karelasyon when you were in high school. After all, that was how your school got famous in ours, aside from the fact that it was fantasy land. hahaha. I also remember you, another friend and me talking about what doesn't get digested by the stomach and comes out of the body the way it looked like when it came in... while we ate some Pipanganan tacos at Casaa; something you made a post about. I think that's when we talked about and decided to watch this film involving teeth and fingers and stuff getting bitten off by the most unexpected part of the body. And then, there was the time when I was going to the Mall alone to buy some stuff, and it so happened that you got in the same jeep as I was in and so I asked you t...

2 weeks still (march 8) And then there were fourteen days. It was all the usual stuff. Me on my bed watching episodes of some series which I probably have seen more than 4 times trying to remember what happened last night, or the other nights. No, I didn’t get drunk. I think I’d have to pass drinking, and maybe smoking. I never should have smoked. I know it won’t do me any good still I did. Just credit it to experience. Though I won’t, for a moment, say it’s a bad experience, neither is it a good one. Enough with that. For now, I’m thinking of getting rid of all the vices I have. That goes for eating a lot, drinking a lot, eating a lot again, spending a lot, cutting classes a lot(pause…..) playing computer games a lot. I think these have all contributed in what could be a boring ending to my college life. But that won’t happen in 3 years or so. Well, by that, I mean college life. I’m not saying I regret having done all those things. I hate regret. I could foresee now how I would ...

I'm 16 days from the end of the semester and I'm not that enthusiastic. My mind is a mess that I can't even tell how I'm feeling towards this. Then again, I don't want this to just pass me by with a big frown on my face. And I'm glad that I still have a reason to smile. I remember my first day in U.P.. How it felt when I was asked to commute from pampanga to my then residence somewhere in U.P. Village on a Sunday afternoon(which was my first commute to manila alone). How my first meal was a hot dog sandwich from ministop and a bottle of water. How I waited for my first class which was ES1 with a classmate who was busy reading the bible. How excited I was to go home that tuesday since I had no class till wednesday afternoon. How I waited for my math class that wednesday since I misread the schedule on my form.(note that during those times, wednesday was the freeday) How I had my first cut where I played DotA at a nearby computer shop instead of attending my ever ...

hahahaha that's all I can think of right now. smile. that's all I can do right now. happiness! I'm so ecstatic! Now don't you bring me down cause I'm in the best of moods! XD

It's been a tough week for me. Just a few nights ago, at around 2 am, I got a call from my dad telling me about the bad news they received about me. People who I am close to know what the bad news was and it doesn't get badder for me since I tried to keep this a secret from them, my parents, for albeit almost 3 months now. Well, it gets worse. The bad news is that, after 9 semesters, I've been dismissed from my college. But hope didn't end there. First, I really want to finish a degree in U.P.. Before, it was supposed to be a degree in Civil Engineering. But as a result of my laziness, I had to do with any degree. I tried to keep this from my parents since I felt I knew what they'd ask me to do. And so it happened. Which is the worst part. They, meaning my father, asked me to transfer to Another University to finish a degree in C.E.. This was what I avoided. Well, I still want that. But as of now, all I want is to graduate in U.P.. Then again, I have to be practical...

Vampires. Do you believe them? At first I didn't. But now, I do. Yes, I believe in vampires. But then again, let me put it in perspective. I met vampires. Red eyes but not much with the sharp fangs. No dramatic bat-like coats. Just casual. They laugh at anything. They easily get hungry. They'd desperately open a tin of tuna even without a proper can opener. And contrary to belief, they aren't exclusive to blood sucking. In fact, some of them are vegetarian. Also, they aren't afraid of garlic. They even love it on their rice. They don't sleep. Well, not till they've filled with their drink. And contrary to belief, they aren't afraid of the sun. They just won't wake up early. They suck. The more they suck in, the redder their eyes get. Maybe that's why their eyes are so crimson. And after sucking, they'd invite you to some. And it's OK to refuse. I did. Because what they love sucking, is not what you might think is blood. But rather, something...

There's the old one from that relatively young org batch, who doesn't like walking long distances(like from tambayan to her college) who is addicted to playing a zombie LAN game, who is afraid of ghosts, who think she has gotten fat and young, and likes pink. Then there's the one who is bitter about her sister, who also plays the mentioned zombie LAN game, who is academically better than most of us, and glows pink at the mention of a certain person's name. Then thewe's the one who is weally good with math, who lives somewhewe faw, who has lots of haiw and has a unique facial featuwe. Then there's the one who is sometimes nerdy when it comes to food stuff, who is good at dressing wounds, and likes the word "chever". Then there's the one who is good at playing basketball, good at playing the guitar, who composed the melody of a certain song, and has slits for eyes. Then there's the one who collects ten peso coins, who regularly eats pizza, is a...

The year started with the family arriving back home from Cagayan. It was the farthest trip we've been and though it wasn't the most adventurous, I still enjoyed the vacation. We arrived at our house minutes before the new year countdown and BAM! A new year had arrived. After media noche, we were all knocked out on our beds, dead tired from the long drive in an uncomfortable van. haha. That was January . Then came February . The dawn was getting colder. The breeze was getting stronger. After more than 2 years, I was able to attend U.P. fair where I got my first ever ATM card. The previous U.P. fair I attended was foiled because some self centered idiots literally gate crashed the venue. It was also the first time I played RB with friends who won Babarug Pipitik , after which, I somehow got addicted. And there was the vibrating speakers. The end of the school year was nearing. Deadlines were fast approaching. I decided to run for externals vice president, thinking this might be ...